Governor Rod Blagojevich of Illinois is a man of subtlety. "[Obama's soon-to-be-vacant senate seat] is a fucking valuable thing, you don't just give it away for nothing." No, no you don't. Not even if federal and state law mandate that you do.
"Look, I wanted to thank you for your continued political support throughout my tenure as Governor, and to congratulate you on your successful presidential campaign. Now, as you know, I have the power to appoint your successor in the Senate. And, call me crazy, but I think I'd do a bang-up job in your cabinet..."
"I'm going to be honest with you - I don't want to spend my entire life in politics. If this funding gets approved, I'll be set for life at the head of a non-profit. I'm not asking for much. And in return? Well, I'd like to talk to you about an appointment that I'm going to have to make soon..."
"Hi Professor, thanks for taking my call. I know my daughter failed your econ final, but she's really hoping to graduate with a 3.0 average. I'm going to ask you to change her grade.
I know, I know, I know. But look, how would you feel about taking an extended sabbatical, starting spring semester?"
"$1.75 for guac!!! Is this a joke??? What the hell - can I take two napkins or is there a "multi-napkin surcharge" too? Look, I just used my last few bills but...uh...do you have any interest in politics?"
"Wow. That was...that was amazing. I've never experienced anything like that. But I've gotta get cleaned up - I told the wife I had a small fundraising dinner. How much do I owe?
$5,000?????
Have you ever heard of the Committee on Foreign Relations?"
"Hi, this is Rod Blagojevich. Are you responding to the craigslist posting?
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