Craziness Becomes Me

Ok...this is New York City. With this many millions of people around you're bound to experience a few whose head ain't screwed on straight, but what if you start seeing them around every corner. Is it that they are all crazy, or have I become such.

A friend asked me a good place to throw a birthday party for her friend. So I suggest a place that I myself had a very successful party at and figure we could probably go two for two right...? Wrong!!! There are far too many crazy people around here for things to go well for too long.

Yea...Ladies if you're unsure of whether you will be deemed as crazy or not if you break a beer bottle open and stab your boyfriend of 5 years with it because you see him carrying on a conversation with another female, the answer is "HECK YEA!!!" I mean...WTF?!

My evening of craziness didn't end there though. My good buddy and I decide to take the train home to save a few bucks on cab fare. To my delight there happened to be a fellow Ivy League Alumnus already on board the train. At first I wanted to greet this Princeton Tiger, but upon making eye contact he reffers to me as a "House nigga!" (I guess I shouldn't have worn the nice loafers and blazer out that night) threatens to kill my friend and me along with anyone else that he wishes would so much as look as him.

A nice young gentleman enters the train wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers hat, and the Princeton-ite takes extreme offense to this perfectly neutral accessory and says, "What the F*%k yo lookin at punk?! Man I'll beat that hat off you, and bust yo a$$ like the Cowboys gonna do them gay a%$ Steelers on Sunday! Mutha F*#ker I'll kill you!" After beating the ceiling of the train a few more times and screaming whatever obscenities he could come up with, he finally calmed down and screamed, "Man I'm gonna kill somebody! Just watch, when I get up there I'm gonna catch me a body or two!"

To all Princeton Alumns out there; if you're curious of whether people will consider you crazy if you threaten to kill complete strangers on the D train at 2:30 in the morning after a Friday night out. The answer is "Heck YEA!!!" I mean for real, WTF?!!

After fearing for my life twice in a single weekend I decide to head to church this morning and escape all this insanity and feel the warmth of God's grace. Huh...how about no! Of the 3 services they hold at Brooklyn Tabernacle on Sunday, of the 5000 and something seats within the auditorium of the B.T, I somehow Effed up again and managed to pick not only the service, but the exact seat that placed me right next to...yea, you guessed it, the craziest person of them all. And I was early for service this morning too so there is absolutely no excuse for this.

But this guys was completely gone on. One minute he's responding to the service like any normal member would do. The next minute he screams out, "All of you are damned to hell! All of you will be judged and burn, all of you are killer!" Like myself, most of us in ear shot tried to pretend we didn't just hear that...you know, like somehow it was clearly just in our heads. But Pastor Cymbala then points out that sin is death and of course my neighbor exclaims. "You can kill me! I'm ready to be hung! You all want to kill me anyway!"

To any jeans, Reebok Pumps and Patriots sweatshirt wearing church goers who might not be sure that blurting evil statements in the middle of a church program would be perceived as crazy, let me take a second to lead you to an answer. HECK Fother Mucking YES!!! OMG WTF?!!!

That's all I got. Please...to all the crazy people out there, stay the heck away from me please!