Finally! I had my wtf moment. I've had a few not suitable for publication (job related, etc...). But tonight something happened that literally left me speechless, so I texted James and let him know I'm finally ready to blog.
My friend Danielle and I decided to go out for drink, being that it was Valentine's Day and we're both bitterly single. But not in a sad way. We had both gotten this Facebook invite for a party at place we'd both been to, a restaurant/bar that turns into a club at night. Around 11pm we enter, pay our $10 and that's when things got strange...
Also I should probably give a little disclaimer at this point...I mean I was disgusted by what I saw, so you may be disgusted reading it.
The first thing I notice is that the place is all girls, I felt like I had walked in on a private party. And then I notice a male stripper giving a lap dance to a girl in the middle of the dance floor. He was in his disgusting male thong and what looked like wrestling shoes (pretty standard I'd suppose). But the girl basically had her top off. And the stripper had his mouth all over...well...his mouth was in places her bra should've been covering up. Now for me, that was gross enough. So he stands up and I'm thinking, "ok he's done, now the club will be normal". Oh no. No sir. He sits in a chair, pulls out his dick, grabs a can of whip cream (from God knows where), and proceeds to put whip cream on himself. The boobs girl walks right over, gets on her knees, and gives him a full on blow job. Did I mention the DJ was giving full commentary during this whole thing? I just..I'm still....speechless. I've been to strip clubs before. I've been to Vegas strip clubs. But I'm pretty sure, you cannot give a blow job in public anyplace. Am I wrong? And why would you want to?? The DJ announces that for $20 the stripper will give private dances upstairs in the dark creepy part of the club. As he walks upstairs the boobs girl follows right behind.
I still, I mean, I'm still at a loss...alls I wanted was a nice evening and I got an eyeful of disgusting. Ick.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
How a Deer killed my car
For those of you who have read my facebook status or heard from me a deer up and critically injured Shadow my 1998 Grand Prix. What follows is the story...
So on Monday, January the 5th, I'm driving along on Interstate-24 and I realize that the full throttle fury that I shotgunned has quickly worked its way through my digestive system, and has begun to put a significant strain on my bladder. I then peep a sign for a rest area approaching. My keen knowledge of interstate travel is well aware that the rest stop is the quickest way to get rid of bodily waste and be able to quickly re-enter the highway. This exact thought it was kept me from stopping in the town of Paducah. As I pass the town of Paducah, I see the sign for the rest stop one mile away in the distance. I also see my new friend. I really enjoy seeing her in her natural habitat, I wish she would stay there rather than venturing out onto major interstates.
I see her and another friend about to dash into the highway. In a millisecond I quickly assess my options. I realized that I cannot go into the right hand lane because I will hit the other deer. I also realize that if I speed up I will hit the lead deer AND possibly my friend as well. My only option is to honk, slam on the brakes, and turn onto the grass but not too hard. I honk, I slam, I turn, but these actions were not enough, as my friend slams into the side of Shadow and rolls onto the hood. As this occurs a small shard of glass flies onto my thumb. I curse the deer and throw the shard of glass out of my thumb and move over to the side of the road. I realize that my thumb is bleeding, not profusely, but enough for me to be annoyed. I go to the trunk of the car and grab the first shirt that is not in a bag. This just to happens to be the shirt that my sister in law JUST gave me. As soon as I put the shirt on my bloody thumb, I realize this was a terrible idea, however at this point I also realize that I already bled on the shirt, so there is no point in bloodying up something else.
After calling AAA to come get me, and calling my insurance, and talking to a police officer who was without a band-aid, I eventually get picked up by the tow truck company and arrive at Jason's Collision Center in Paducah. My insurance tells me that they can get me a rental car, and this shop can do the repairs, however there is only one slight problem. Both Enterprises, a couple budgets and a Hertz are ALL out of rental cars. I use my great machine of a phone and see that a greyhound to Nashville leaves in about 30 minutes, that time quickly elapses as my insurance company continues to call everyone in the greater Paducah area in search of a rental car. They eventually find a Hertz that is able to rent me a car that was built for a homosexual man living in San Francisco. (nothing against gay people or people living in San Fran, just this car is PERFECT for both) none other than a 2008 Toyota Yaris.
I eventually venture out to the Paducah Airport (yes Paducah, Kentucky has an airport) pick up my Yaris and head back to Jason's collect some of my belongings from Shadow and get back onto the highway, but before I did I took a few photos of the carnage.
Now I know inevitably people, probably Maggie and Lauren are asking the same questions... like geez James weren't you supposed to be leaving on Sunday morning to make sure you were back in Nashville to watch Scrubs with us? And dang James, Shadow has not looked this sexy in a while... the slight blemish from the car wash incident is gone, and she is SHINING!
Well thanks for asking those questions... you are right, I was supposed to. However, I decided to have Shadow visit a body shop to repair a couple of slight blemishes. Shadow was supposed to be picked early in the morning on Sunday, however she was not ready until around 9pm at night, which delayed my departure from the St. Louis area. Wow you say, so you are telling me that not even 12 hours after picking up your car from the body shop it was probably totaled? WTF!!!!!
P.S. The deer lived through the accident, but is probably injured and unable to defend itself from predators
So on Monday, January the 5th, I'm driving along on Interstate-24 and I realize that the full throttle fury that I shotgunned has quickly worked its way through my digestive system, and has begun to put a significant strain on my bladder. I then peep a sign for a rest area approaching. My keen knowledge of interstate travel is well aware that the rest stop is the quickest way to get rid of bodily waste and be able to quickly re-enter the highway. This exact thought it was kept me from stopping in the town of Paducah. As I pass the town of Paducah, I see the sign for the rest stop one mile away in the distance. I also see my new friend. I really enjoy seeing her in her natural habitat, I wish she would stay there rather than venturing out onto major interstates.
I see her and another friend about to dash into the highway. In a millisecond I quickly assess my options. I realized that I cannot go into the right hand lane because I will hit the other deer. I also realize that if I speed up I will hit the lead deer AND possibly my friend as well. My only option is to honk, slam on the brakes, and turn onto the grass but not too hard. I honk, I slam, I turn, but these actions were not enough, as my friend slams into the side of Shadow and rolls onto the hood. As this occurs a small shard of glass flies onto my thumb. I curse the deer and throw the shard of glass out of my thumb and move over to the side of the road. I realize that my thumb is bleeding, not profusely, but enough for me to be annoyed. I go to the trunk of the car and grab the first shirt that is not in a bag. This just to happens to be the shirt that my sister in law JUST gave me. As soon as I put the shirt on my bloody thumb, I realize this was a terrible idea, however at this point I also realize that I already bled on the shirt, so there is no point in bloodying up something else.After calling AAA to come get me, and calling my insurance, and talking to a police officer who was without a band-aid, I eventually get picked up by the tow truck company and arrive at Jason's Collision Center in Paducah. My insurance tells me that they can get me a rental car, and this shop can do the repairs, however there is only one slight problem. Both Enterprises, a couple budgets and a Hertz are ALL out of rental cars. I use my great machine of a phone and see that a greyhound to Nashville leaves in about 30 minutes, that time quickly elapses as my insurance company continues to call everyone in the greater Paducah area in search of a rental car. They eventually find a Hertz that is able to rent me a car that was built for a homosexual man living in San Francisco. (nothing against gay people or people living in San Fran, just this car is PERFECT for both) none other than a 2008 Toyota Yaris.
I eventually venture out to the Paducah Airport (yes Paducah, Kentucky has an airport) pick up my Yaris and head back to Jason's collect some of my belongings from Shadow and get back onto the highway, but before I did I took a few photos of the carnage.
Now I know inevitably people, probably Maggie and Lauren are asking the same questions... like geez James weren't you supposed to be leaving on Sunday morning to make sure you were back in Nashville to watch Scrubs with us? And dang James, Shadow has not looked this sexy in a while... the slight blemish from the car wash incident is gone, and she is SHINING!
Well thanks for asking those questions... you are right, I was supposed to. However, I decided to have Shadow visit a body shop to repair a couple of slight blemishes. Shadow was supposed to be picked early in the morning on Sunday, however she was not ready until around 9pm at night, which delayed my departure from the St. Louis area. Wow you say, so you are telling me that not even 12 hours after picking up your car from the body shop it was probably totaled? WTF!!!!!
P.S. The deer lived through the accident, but is probably injured and unable to defend itself from predators
Thursday, December 18, 2008
They're Learning
Remember the scene in Jurassic Park where the main characters learn that velociraptors can open doors? Yeah, kinda like that, only with tasty treats.
Next the crows will be taught how to go back and forth over whether to get the granola bar or the honeybun, before finally getting the honeybun, but swearing to themselves that this is the last time.
Next the crows will be taught how to go back and forth over whether to get the granola bar or the honeybun, before finally getting the honeybun, but swearing to themselves that this is the last time.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Illinois Sen. Seat, lightly used, potential for growth. Highest Bidder.
Governor Rod Blagojevich of Illinois is a man of subtlety. "[Obama's soon-to-be-vacant senate seat] is a fucking valuable thing, you don't just give it away for nothing." No, no you don't. Not even if federal and state law mandate that you do.
"Look, I wanted to thank you for your continued political support throughout my tenure as Governor, and to congratulate you on your successful presidential campaign. Now, as you know, I have the power to appoint your successor in the Senate. And, call me crazy, but I think I'd do a bang-up job in your cabinet..."
"I'm going to be honest with you - I don't want to spend my entire life in politics. If this funding gets approved, I'll be set for life at the head of a non-profit. I'm not asking for much. And in return? Well, I'd like to talk to you about an appointment that I'm going to have to make soon..."
"Hi Professor, thanks for taking my call. I know my daughter failed your econ final, but she's really hoping to graduate with a 3.0 average. I'm going to ask you to change her grade.
I know, I know, I know. But look, how would you feel about taking an extended sabbatical, starting spring semester?"
"$1.75 for guac!!! Is this a joke??? What the hell - can I take two napkins or is there a "multi-napkin surcharge" too? Look, I just used my last few bills but...uh...do you have any interest in politics?"
"Wow. That was...that was amazing. I've never experienced anything like that. But I've gotta get cleaned up - I told the wife I had a small fundraising dinner. How much do I owe?
$5,000?????
Have you ever heard of the Committee on Foreign Relations?"
"Hi, this is Rod Blagojevich. Are you responding to the craigslist posting?
"Look, I wanted to thank you for your continued political support throughout my tenure as Governor, and to congratulate you on your successful presidential campaign. Now, as you know, I have the power to appoint your successor in the Senate. And, call me crazy, but I think I'd do a bang-up job in your cabinet..."
"I'm going to be honest with you - I don't want to spend my entire life in politics. If this funding gets approved, I'll be set for life at the head of a non-profit. I'm not asking for much. And in return? Well, I'd like to talk to you about an appointment that I'm going to have to make soon..."
"Hi Professor, thanks for taking my call. I know my daughter failed your econ final, but she's really hoping to graduate with a 3.0 average. I'm going to ask you to change her grade.
I know, I know, I know. But look, how would you feel about taking an extended sabbatical, starting spring semester?"
"$1.75 for guac!!! Is this a joke??? What the hell - can I take two napkins or is there a "multi-napkin surcharge" too? Look, I just used my last few bills but...uh...do you have any interest in politics?"
"Wow. That was...that was amazing. I've never experienced anything like that. But I've gotta get cleaned up - I told the wife I had a small fundraising dinner. How much do I owe?
$5,000?????
Have you ever heard of the Committee on Foreign Relations?"
"Hi, this is Rod Blagojevich. Are you responding to the craigslist posting?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Craziness Becomes Me
Ok...this is New York City. With this many millions of people around you're bound to experience a few whose head ain't screwed on straight, but what if you start seeing them around every corner. Is it that they are all crazy, or have I become such.
A friend asked me a good place to throw a birthday party for her friend. So I suggest a place that I myself had a very successful party at and figure we could probably go two for two right...? Wrong!!! There are far too many crazy people around here for things to go well for too long.
Yea...Ladies if you're unsure of whether you will be deemed as crazy or not if you break a beer bottle open and stab your boyfriend of 5 years with it because you see him carrying on a conversation with another female, the answer is "HECK YEA!!!" I mean...WTF?!
My evening of craziness didn't end there though. My good buddy and I decide to take the train home to save a few bucks on cab fare. To my delight there happened to be a fellow Ivy League Alumnus already on board the train. At first I wanted to greet this Princeton Tiger, but upon making eye contact he reffers to me as a "House nigga!" (I guess I shouldn't have worn the nice loafers and blazer out that night) threatens to kill my friend and me along with anyone else that he wishes would so much as look as him.
A nice young gentleman enters the train wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers hat, and the Princeton-ite takes extreme offense to this perfectly neutral accessory and says, "What the F*%k yo lookin at punk?! Man I'll beat that hat off you, and bust yo a$$ like the Cowboys gonna do them gay a%$ Steelers on Sunday! Mutha F*#ker I'll kill you!" After beating the ceiling of the train a few more times and screaming whatever obscenities he could come up with, he finally calmed down and screamed, "Man I'm gonna kill somebody! Just watch, when I get up there I'm gonna catch me a body or two!"
To all Princeton Alumns out there; if you're curious of whether people will consider you crazy if you threaten to kill complete strangers on the D train at 2:30 in the morning after a Friday night out. The answer is "Heck YEA!!!" I mean for real, WTF?!!
After fearing for my life twice in a single weekend I decide to head to church this morning and escape all this insanity and feel the warmth of God's grace. Huh...how about no! Of the 3 services they hold at Brooklyn Tabernacle on Sunday, of the 5000 and something seats within the auditorium of the B.T, I somehow Effed up again and managed to pick not only the service, but the exact seat that placed me right next to...yea, you guessed it, the craziest person of them all. And I was early for service this morning too so there is absolutely no excuse for this.
But this guys was completely gone on. One minute he's responding to the service like any normal member would do. The next minute he screams out, "All of you are damned to hell! All of you will be judged and burn, all of you are killer!" Like myself, most of us in ear shot tried to pretend we didn't just hear that...you know, like somehow it was clearly just in our heads. But Pastor Cymbala then points out that sin is death and of course my neighbor exclaims. "You can kill me! I'm ready to be hung! You all want to kill me anyway!"
To any jeans, Reebok Pumps and Patriots sweatshirt wearing church goers who might not be sure that blurting evil statements in the middle of a church program would be perceived as crazy, let me take a second to lead you to an answer. HECK Fother Mucking YES!!! OMG WTF?!!!
That's all I got. Please...to all the crazy people out there, stay the heck away from me please!
A friend asked me a good place to throw a birthday party for her friend. So I suggest a place that I myself had a very successful party at and figure we could probably go two for two right...? Wrong!!! There are far too many crazy people around here for things to go well for too long.
Yea...Ladies if you're unsure of whether you will be deemed as crazy or not if you break a beer bottle open and stab your boyfriend of 5 years with it because you see him carrying on a conversation with another female, the answer is "HECK YEA!!!" I mean...WTF?!
My evening of craziness didn't end there though. My good buddy and I decide to take the train home to save a few bucks on cab fare. To my delight there happened to be a fellow Ivy League Alumnus already on board the train. At first I wanted to greet this Princeton Tiger, but upon making eye contact he reffers to me as a "House nigga!" (I guess I shouldn't have worn the nice loafers and blazer out that night) threatens to kill my friend and me along with anyone else that he wishes would so much as look as him.
A nice young gentleman enters the train wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers hat, and the Princeton-ite takes extreme offense to this perfectly neutral accessory and says, "What the F*%k yo lookin at punk?! Man I'll beat that hat off you, and bust yo a$$ like the Cowboys gonna do them gay a%$ Steelers on Sunday! Mutha F*#ker I'll kill you!" After beating the ceiling of the train a few more times and screaming whatever obscenities he could come up with, he finally calmed down and screamed, "Man I'm gonna kill somebody! Just watch, when I get up there I'm gonna catch me a body or two!"
To all Princeton Alumns out there; if you're curious of whether people will consider you crazy if you threaten to kill complete strangers on the D train at 2:30 in the morning after a Friday night out. The answer is "Heck YEA!!!" I mean for real, WTF?!!
After fearing for my life twice in a single weekend I decide to head to church this morning and escape all this insanity and feel the warmth of God's grace. Huh...how about no! Of the 3 services they hold at Brooklyn Tabernacle on Sunday, of the 5000 and something seats within the auditorium of the B.T, I somehow Effed up again and managed to pick not only the service, but the exact seat that placed me right next to...yea, you guessed it, the craziest person of them all. And I was early for service this morning too so there is absolutely no excuse for this.
But this guys was completely gone on. One minute he's responding to the service like any normal member would do. The next minute he screams out, "All of you are damned to hell! All of you will be judged and burn, all of you are killer!" Like myself, most of us in ear shot tried to pretend we didn't just hear that...you know, like somehow it was clearly just in our heads. But Pastor Cymbala then points out that sin is death and of course my neighbor exclaims. "You can kill me! I'm ready to be hung! You all want to kill me anyway!"
To any jeans, Reebok Pumps and Patriots sweatshirt wearing church goers who might not be sure that blurting evil statements in the middle of a church program would be perceived as crazy, let me take a second to lead you to an answer. HECK Fother Mucking YES!!! OMG WTF?!!!
That's all I got. Please...to all the crazy people out there, stay the heck away from me please!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Takeover
An open letter to the elderly woman and first interviewee in the Al Jazeera interview of 8/13/08:
We would like to address some of your concerns regarding the consequences of Obama’s win on November 4th.
Firstly, you are correct. We Blacks will be taking over. There will be nothing gradual about this takeover; we are all armed and will place ourselves in strategically advantageous locations during the inaugural speech on January 20th. When Obama gives us the code-phrase (we can't tell you what it is, but if you want a head-start then we'd recommend becoming very familiar with the theme from The Jeffersons) we will initiate the takeover.
We will have representatives in New York City to ensure that all financially-related takeover matters occur as planned. These representatives are the same Blacks that took out all those sub-prime mortgages and helped the market crash in the first place. (You were right! It was us!) Blacks will also be stationed at the U.S. Mint branches in Philadelphia and Denver. From the inauguration forth, all United States currency will be printed with a picture of Barack Obama eating a certain food – cornbread on the one-dollar note, collard greens on the five-dollar note, fried chicken on the ten, ribs on the twenty, chitterlings on the fifty, and watermelon on the one-hundred. Some early designs were leaked to the press in California and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. Each denomination of coin will feature a different likeness of Obama on the front, and one of many objects that we Blacks like on the back, including, but not limited to, welfare checks, malt liquor, crack rocks, prison bars, and spinning rims.
In addition to controlling the financial sector and money supply, we will have operatives on stand-by outside the U.S. Capitol and all fifty state legislatures, ready to unseat all U.S. and state representatives when they hear the code-phrase. If you thought the ratification process for the Reconstruction Amendments was unfair, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Blacks will also force resignations from the justices of the state supreme courts, as well as most of the U.S. Supreme Court (Justices Ginsburg and Stevens have already submitted drafts to us, and we're going to keep Justice Thomas on-board, purely for our own amusement). After January 20th please address all concerns to the office of Chief Justice Sharpton.
Culturally, expect to see some changes as well. "Baby Mama" and "Baby Daddy" will replace the traditional but outdated idea of marriage (and you thought The Gays were the main threat), BET will be the only television channel, and the new national anthem will be none other than Sir Mix-a-lot's "Baby got Back". Additionally, affirmative action in hiring and higher education will be abolished in favor of a more transparent and less confusing policy: Blacks only.
These are just some basic points about the takeover. And if this seems like too intelligent of a plan to have been conceived by us Blacks, your intuition is correct. Bill Ayers did most of the organizational work. Good luck on 1/21/09!
Best Regards,
The Blacks
P.S. Nice shades!
We would like to address some of your concerns regarding the consequences of Obama’s win on November 4th.
Firstly, you are correct. We Blacks will be taking over. There will be nothing gradual about this takeover; we are all armed and will place ourselves in strategically advantageous locations during the inaugural speech on January 20th. When Obama gives us the code-phrase (we can't tell you what it is, but if you want a head-start then we'd recommend becoming very familiar with the theme from The Jeffersons) we will initiate the takeover.
We will have representatives in New York City to ensure that all financially-related takeover matters occur as planned. These representatives are the same Blacks that took out all those sub-prime mortgages and helped the market crash in the first place. (You were right! It was us!) Blacks will also be stationed at the U.S. Mint branches in Philadelphia and Denver. From the inauguration forth, all United States currency will be printed with a picture of Barack Obama eating a certain food – cornbread on the one-dollar note, collard greens on the five-dollar note, fried chicken on the ten, ribs on the twenty, chitterlings on the fifty, and watermelon on the one-hundred. Some early designs were leaked to the press in California and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. Each denomination of coin will feature a different likeness of Obama on the front, and one of many objects that we Blacks like on the back, including, but not limited to, welfare checks, malt liquor, crack rocks, prison bars, and spinning rims.
In addition to controlling the financial sector and money supply, we will have operatives on stand-by outside the U.S. Capitol and all fifty state legislatures, ready to unseat all U.S. and state representatives when they hear the code-phrase. If you thought the ratification process for the Reconstruction Amendments was unfair, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Blacks will also force resignations from the justices of the state supreme courts, as well as most of the U.S. Supreme Court (Justices Ginsburg and Stevens have already submitted drafts to us, and we're going to keep Justice Thomas on-board, purely for our own amusement). After January 20th please address all concerns to the office of Chief Justice Sharpton.
Culturally, expect to see some changes as well. "Baby Mama" and "Baby Daddy" will replace the traditional but outdated idea of marriage (and you thought The Gays were the main threat), BET will be the only television channel, and the new national anthem will be none other than Sir Mix-a-lot's "Baby got Back". Additionally, affirmative action in hiring and higher education will be abolished in favor of a more transparent and less confusing policy: Blacks only.
These are just some basic points about the takeover. And if this seems like too intelligent of a plan to have been conceived by us Blacks, your intuition is correct. Bill Ayers did most of the organizational work. Good luck on 1/21/09!
Best Regards,
The Blacks
P.S. Nice shades!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
It has begun... and the legendary white cougar
I know it has been a long time coming but thanks to "The Blacks" the blog is up and running. I knew we could always depend on them. I'm going to be the one to put it out there and introduce the best blog team ever assembled.
We have the swim instructor himself, the man who can look into the future (when he is not "implying")... Mr. Rodriguez aka Donostradamus.
We then come with Northface queen herself, Seatown's finest 206er for life... Fellas, this beautiful young thang has the advice to score you any eligible female (and some ineligible) in the world. Peyton's momma aka Emily.
Oh but keep your head up for the representative for those of darker skinned, the first epistler, the one who is always covered from head to toe infer... The Blacks...
That leaves the last member of the team, the assembler, the mastermind, obviously the heart and soul of this operation... Seatowns finest, but Germantown's own... MC17 aka Jimmy. There may be more members added to the team...
Now this wouldn't be right without a wtf moment. This is more of a wtf did that really just happen AGAIN moment. So follow along as I tell the story of a young man who had a love for the older individuals. A certain "person" (not the writer of course) I know somehow had a fondness for women of a certain age. So this scrapping young buck at the age of 22 began to work with an older lady of the caucasion variety. Now while the young scrapping buck somehow began to fall for this older, lady of extreme intelligence. Every time she spoke and used big words and displayed unparalleled empathy, it did something special. Alas, she was old and married, so this young buck moved on. Fast forward a year later, this young buck meets another boss, who is white older, and also uses big words... his heart sank again! Now he did not think this would become a trend, that he had a type. no never just another random coincidence. Fast forward the next year, the Doctor this young buck is assigned, fits the same bill as the previous ones. Suddenly all those unwanted places doctors check are places that he is asking to have checked. (Like the back of your throat when they stick the popsicle stick down there, get your heads out of the gutter please) Then another lady he meets who has control over him fits the bill... Likewise his heart falls. Now this young buck is a sad case of many a young individuals who have fallen victim to the legendary white cougar. The white cougar is not a normal cougar, but one who lulls you to sleep then attacks prey with intellect and verbose vocabulary rather than simple beauty. But this young buck is easily fooled and easy prey, for the majority of the scrapping young bucks out there, you have nothing to fear.
Jimmy
"That's what she said" of the week... from a female between the ages of 36 and 43 "I just love nuts, I'm a nut girl... I'm all about nuts"
We have the swim instructor himself, the man who can look into the future (when he is not "implying")... Mr. Rodriguez aka Donostradamus.
We then come with Northface queen herself, Seatown's finest 206er for life... Fellas, this beautiful young thang has the advice to score you any eligible female (and some ineligible) in the world. Peyton's momma aka Emily.
Oh but keep your head up for the representative for those of darker skinned, the first epistler, the one who is always covered from head to toe infer... The Blacks...
That leaves the last member of the team, the assembler, the mastermind, obviously the heart and soul of this operation... Seatowns finest, but Germantown's own... MC17 aka Jimmy. There may be more members added to the team...
Now this wouldn't be right without a wtf moment. This is more of a wtf did that really just happen AGAIN moment. So follow along as I tell the story of a young man who had a love for the older individuals. A certain "person" (not the writer of course) I know somehow had a fondness for women of a certain age. So this scrapping young buck at the age of 22 began to work with an older lady of the caucasion variety. Now while the young scrapping buck somehow began to fall for this older, lady of extreme intelligence. Every time she spoke and used big words and displayed unparalleled empathy, it did something special. Alas, she was old and married, so this young buck moved on. Fast forward a year later, this young buck meets another boss, who is white older, and also uses big words... his heart sank again! Now he did not think this would become a trend, that he had a type. no never just another random coincidence. Fast forward the next year, the Doctor this young buck is assigned, fits the same bill as the previous ones. Suddenly all those unwanted places doctors check are places that he is asking to have checked. (Like the back of your throat when they stick the popsicle stick down there, get your heads out of the gutter please) Then another lady he meets who has control over him fits the bill... Likewise his heart falls. Now this young buck is a sad case of many a young individuals who have fallen victim to the legendary white cougar. The white cougar is not a normal cougar, but one who lulls you to sleep then attacks prey with intellect and verbose vocabulary rather than simple beauty. But this young buck is easily fooled and easy prey, for the majority of the scrapping young bucks out there, you have nothing to fear.
Jimmy
"That's what she said" of the week... from a female between the ages of 36 and 43 "I just love nuts, I'm a nut girl... I'm all about nuts"
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